The most precious answer of all.

Wait

by Russell Kelfer  

 

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me. And though oft My answers seem terribly late, My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

my bday boy

oh that's you.. johnny depp..;) may 49er boy..you always will be the best captain ever..:)

 stunning! you will always be that.

notyet

i need not hurry.. if its not coming now, then its not coming now. if its coming later, then its coming later. but nevertheless it would happen.. need not focus on that wanting, cause for sure, it would just arrive, signed sealed delivered. without any doubt on it.. perfectly gift wrapped in neon pink for me..:)

so what should this girl do? divert her attention to something worthwhile. to something that might affect a larger number of the human race. not just her self. do something that has a bigger cause..and only through selfless acts of service will i truly learn the art of loving..:)

remembering may 22 again..:) :(

i could vividly recall the summer of 2009. that precious friday, in my usual orange top. that day wasn't really big for me, but it did became memorable because you made it just like that. i may have been a little unapproachable then, but really inside i couldn't stop wishing id hear from you again. little did i know that it would change my whole perspective about everything back then that i dont know.

i may have acted in a kinda intimidating manner, but really it's only me and my so-called personality, really cant help it. its something innate in me. but good thing you never lost track. i just love the way you carry yourself to me and to everyone else. that aura you project, when you look at me at a distant. it just mesmerizes me. its hard not to wince and be caught off guard. its just you, but that you is a big big deal for me.

(you might have no idea, how dizzy i can be just thinking of you and the things you do.) 

your songs i could list them all. and i am still able to sing every phrase of those songs that you have sung and i openly appreciated.:) 

that first movie..;) i could never forget that. how you argue with me on how Johnny Depp is ugly, while i, defensively giving all the reasons why he's not.:) 

plus all those korean movie series you gladly lend me, those korean series that has no english subtitles. and me thinking how on earth could i decipher what those aliens are speaking. but it was very cute of you, offering something that i love, but you yourself have no idea of.:)

and remember the pictures. you're just very showy at times..:) but i still love every bit of it.

but the nail cutter nailed everything. with that simple gesture, you took my breath away. how lovely and sweet of you to borrow a rusty unusable nailcutter, while me insisting that you could no longer use it, but your will is much greater than mine, so you insisted that you want that nailcutter and only that nailcutter alone.. and giving it back to me as good as new. :)

 (i couldnt help smiling) ;)

and the way you say sorry. and the way you get my attention, its just something ive never seen before. quite extraordinary. if you know what i mean.

and the way you stroke and play with our dog. your senseless chitchats (but no one could beat that). :)

and the way you stare at me. i just cant resist it.

those are just few of the things i dearly miss. if you know what i mean. its just so lonely out here i feel i could die. but i dont have the courage to forgive and forget. there are just some things that are better left as it is. though i still miss you, i couldnt and wouldnt say those words right at your face. its better left unsaid. that's why it's part of history, could never be rewinded, and be played again with a different ending. 

i should admit that its a bitter pill for me to swallow. you know that very well. regrets would always be part of it. i should know. but its time to let go. let's learn. 

for always people come and people go.

for you and for me we're nothing but just a passing presence in each other's life. but thank you dearly. and sincerely.