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Sunday, August 28, 2022

Let's write a while

Let me say my hello to you my dear old friend! 

HELLO! (in the sweetest way possible)

I am so absolutely in awe and very ectstatic doing this again! 

And now friends, I write again. 

It has been a great while since I last laid my eyes on you.

A lot has happened. You will be thrilled with the number of adventures I had in the past couple of years!

I missed you my friend! I missed you terribly.

I didnt expected I'd stumble upon this page again. 

Indeed, things happen for they just need to. A rendering of an account is due upon me.

Let me recollect history.

And let all these forgotten recuerdo of the past be relived.

I may like some I may escape some, but let me not discount them all.

I know this has to happen. I am oblige to, and so let me open my heart, mind and soul out to you.

Let the sweet and bitter memories of the past come and linger once more. 

I hope I won't miss a thing, but perchance if I did, let me tell you in advance it is not my intention. Id like to tell it all.

 It must be have been timely. For sure. It always is.

So 2011 was a year I had a chance with love again, 2009 was the first. I met him and he met me, in the most common place where lovers meet, the workplace. When I begin my journey to adulthood, I prayed I would meet the most wonderful beautiful human in the world, in all forms and in all aspects, I was quite surprised he didnt, when our eyes met, I knew he was the very meaning of ordinary. But do not be misled, he is indeed beautiful, not just the most. At that time, his feelings were much more intense than mine, I couldnt fight for him. I couldnt give him a chance.  He was a gentleman to be sure, and most ladies I know would be thrilled to have a man like him. In my most immature way I turned him down and so I had his heart broken. I didnt know why but I broke mine also. I was sad that I made him sad. It was indeed a lonesome story.

2012 I must confess I did enjoyed dating during this time. I dated quite a handful of guys. There was R*, O*, J*, M*, E*, D*, P*, and perhaps 20 others I couldnt recall. Men of different genre, from a few years younger to triple my age. I had pleasure in knowing them, sharing thoughts, picking thoughts, events, ideas dreams anything under the sun. Most important of all I had pleasure flaunting my self, my unstructured thoughts, my high flying dreams, and my overly ambitious self with these prey. I loved being adored by them.

2013, a fellow mate in the same workplace, I didnt expect Id like him at all. I didnt imagined myself liking this guy at any point ever. Don't get me wrong he is absolutely stunning, a lot of girls drool over him, but I don't. I prefer men, who has finess in the way they move and the way they carry themselves. I like them dandy, neat and clean. Charming confident and not boisterous. He is the very opposite of it all. I dont like a chatterbox but he is. I dont like it rugged but he is. I didnt like it rowdy, rough, mean and noisy. I do not like it. And he is all that plus more. But why the heck did I ever liked him? I didnt how and why it started. The ins and the outs, but it did happen one fine day. Unfortunately. I found myself in a bizaare situation. Gazing and drooling over this odd noisy little thing. I was held captive by this unruly captain. I sure hope I can gallop away. But I cannot stop myself from falling. We had our time though, I got to know him better and let me tell you I come to just shrug off this part of him and enjoy that moment I had with him. We laughed at so many things, shared so many stories, about his life, mine, his family, his thoughts (i like picking on other people's thoughts and delighting them with mine), his legacies (i like showing off)  his dreams, my dreams, visions and so on, very neptunian. I know I would be one unforgettable girl for him. I made him so terribly in love. Albeit, he gave me different kinds of emotions all at once, I get to smile, laugh, angry, and confused. Yes I do like and I do hate him. I like that he is different and I also hate him for that. So once again, I let it go. I thought at that time, it was so fleeting, and it will never be more than what I imagine it is. I relished the time we spent together.

2014 I dated a few men at the start of the quarter. I was having a fun time. Little did I know that at the eve of my birthday my father will pass away. He was killed morbidly. We never knew who the murderers where. It was the saddest moment of my life. Of my family. Of our lives. I recall my sister calling me I need to go home and with not so many words I knew right away my father was gone, I was praying on my way home, for a miracle to happen, that this is all just a dream. I recall running from the office and crying all the way to our home. It was like a whirlwind. Then I knew how short and precious life could be. The first quarter didnt end happy. Days passed and we still cannot get over it. I cried all day every day. Every single day, on my way to work and on my way back home. Then I resigned from my job, and find myself struggling with this new workplace. I felt so out of place. So not in sync. And then I was terminated. I knew I don't belong. And then I was scammed on so many aspects I dare not give life to those stories once again. This year might be a horrible, miserable and dreadful year. This was so heartbreaking. When life rains on you it doesnt just rain, it pours and it pours so heavily my umbrella cannot withstand it. So it broke and I soaked.

2015 It is so true that there's a light at the end of the darkness. I can testify to it. With all the tears, throbbing pain and sorrows, miseries that I had with the previous year, I must say that this year saved me. I had a lot of revelations. I met Jesus and He changed my life forever. He gave me a fresh new start. A reason to live. A purpose. I felt like a phoenix, burning my old self, my old life and from the ashes and restoring my life anew. It was like seeing everything with a new set of eyes. My perspective has changed 360. I didnt knew it could happen. But I did. Glory be to Jesus for saving me, calling me his own. I started life again. 

2016 I saw this man, I didnt know who he was and what he do, it was instant. I fell magnetically in love with him. For no reason at all. I was in love again. Since I don't know him, he doesnt know me either, it was ironic to feel love for a stranger, I never knew him at all up until know. We never talked, ever. I only see him at church. I was perplexed to have this emotion linger cause I literally do not want it. Ironically it never left me, the more I researched about this lad, I knew the feelings should stop cause he way younger than I am 6 years his senior, he is not yet woking at that time, that reason alone should be enough for my thinking critical self to give up these feelings, to magically vanish but it didnt. I was literally on my knees praying that this emotion be vanished and casted out upon me for I do not want it. Eventually I found myself giving reasons to avoid him, I was successful at times and sometimes serendipity just happens. He seems to always linger somewhere when my mind tells me to avoid him. I dated not once during this time. At this time I had the desire to purchase a real property and so I did. I bough my very first land. 

2017 The miserable teeny boppy feelings for this young guy is still there, sure it did not left. It likes to stay, so I let it. But I wouldn't for the world do anything stupid. I just let it stay and I didnt mind it. Amidst all that, I was contemplating about my age and how time flows and where did it all go. I have never dated this year. Again.

2018 I have been very busy about my spiritual side all this while. I also focused on some further studies that I wasnt able to finish. I also had the desire out f nowhere to live on my own so I lived alone in a condo for half of the year. You should know how miserable I was, living alone. From 2015 to this year, my focus was always on the spiritual plane. Also, this man from 2016 just keeps passing and take note the feelings has not died but it is never strong. So again, I didnt had the chance to date.

2019 I was very enterprising. My e-commerce has thrived and I was ecstatic about it. Abundance has happened. So at the end of June I tendered my resignation to my latest job. And I was never employed since. It was also this year when I purchased a food franchise but to my dismay, I was never passionate about cooking. So it didnt thrived.

2020 I purchased my car and a new land for my car. I need a garage for it. So, purchase, I did. This year is when the pandemic over all the wold arrived. It brought fear to every breathing specie on earth. I think that was the pandemic, fear. Nothing more nothing less. I never saw that young lad from 2016 again. But sure I still miss him at times. I never had that teeny boppy feeling of having a crush again. the last time was 2016. Getting old is real.

2021 I longed to live in a condominium alone. Again. The pandemic might be the trigger. So in a condo I went. I lived there for more than a year. It was so spiritual and the most quiet and the most peaceful time. I really love my place. It was cozy, bright, beautiful and spaceous and quiet. It was perfect for me. I actually long to go back there again. I studied in DeLasalle CSB and started a new journey on something I love and I am still learning about it till now. I would never give up being master on it. So I will always thrive. I knew I am destined to be there.

2022 So we are now here at the present. Hello to you. The third quarter hasnt ended yet. I long to live in a condo again. I long to get my farm and get going with all my animal friends. I long to go on a Mediterranean Cruise, a European Cruise perhaps an  Antarctican Cruise is always welcome an  Alaskan Cruise for sure. Any cruise available, I would jump onto it anytime. I wouldnt mind if I fly on a drop of a hat on these destinations  Italy Germany Spain France, Andorra and Switzerland. Yes, these are few of the things I long to do. To get you hooked, I had been a certified Technical Analyst and I am top of the class. I also will be starting my second course on Real Estate Management this September. Goals.