random things

it must have been said that one of the most significant element in a woman's life is her passion for her craft. as for me, i think i have temporarily abandoned my craft, and that is expressing the very thoughts of this young lass.

i miss the pen and the paper. i miss the trash can and the crumpled pieces of my torned notebook. and i miss my inspiration. but geez that inspiration could be anyone and anything. so that should be slashed off in the list. harmlessly, also i should admit that i have been hurt. by many things that has occurred like a torpedo this year. although a lot of blessings has come, there are also things i could never hold forever. fleeting things. passing. coming. and then staying for a while. then watching it fly. away. sadly, yes of course. but nevertheless i have to be grateful for the opportunity of having it pass and knock to my door.  sincerely thanks.

on the other hand, i have to make up my mind, whether or not to pursue this thing my brain is engaged in at the moment. its going back to school NOW and that means i have to handle the finances. or LATER which means I have to wait for the go-signal of my authorities(them, who would handle the expense). that's another angle of my hypothalamus.

another thing I am overly concerned of, is my overspending for BOOKS. I should take a hold of it. although I know it's a good investment, but not every now and then. as in every week I buy, 10-15 books.oh jeez. I keep on buying, and it's killing my account. should i not be bothered? after all it is not for anything but books. and it is my money. but im not a money maker yet. so i really should tighten my belt when the temptation comes.

and should i put emphasis on the fact that the last post i made on this blog was of last year. awful.:( and the last time i penned a poem was nine months ago. alarming yes.. and i should be asking meself, do i still know how to hold a pen? i should be trying later. for the record i will.:)

i'll weave a five stanza <or more> poem later. for the things that has happened to my previous nine months, for the people that might have been relevant in those nine months. for the little nonsense things that proved amusing and pleasurable to me. for all the emotions that has been stirred during that period. for the losses that tried and tested my endurance and steadfastness. and of course the gifts and the gains that has been bestowed upon me. im all excited to do that piece so, tata for now.

p.s.

also, i saw someone from the past last sunday, and i thought i would feel all the stirring trapped emotions I had before, but happily I didnt. i may have grown, for i no longer am holding to the webs of the past. when i saw him, it didnt felt awkward. i just smiled. and then go. it didnt even caught my attention for long. good thing, really. good to know that i am being updated. keep it up, jen, your doing great.