but he's just not the typical knight I have always dreamed of. he holds himself differently. so different that i cant help, help being swept and captivated by it. and i know im captured,..again.
im not supposed to feel so exasperatingly excited about this and about him. but he gives me that breathless feeling, you know that seeming slow movement of everything. but i know its very ephemeral. not long lasting. just for a short while. fading into somewhere i dont know. gee, i am but still a woman, a woman who gets too giddy about romantic gestures, and blown by sunset scenery. thats why i cant help falling for him or something like that. im starting to like him. im getting used to his atypical ungraceful ways. and im starting to give in to the feeling im being pulled into.
but somehow i am resisting, knowing it's something ive never dived into. although somehow, im all out and about to go wherever he wants me to go. there's this friction in me, which says go, and the other says no.
he oh he. and me oh me. i dont want to jeopardize myself by these warm fuzzy and teenage fleeting feelings. that's inadmissible. but he just always distracts me. he makes me smile, angry, and confused. all at the same time. and he wastes my time, knowing i cant prevent my mind from being filled with various thoughts of him.
its a one time only thing-- when you're crushing and being infatuated with somebody.
i am in that very state right now.
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