Monsters

Let's name this monster. Green eyed monster. Eating me up to the bone, I cant keep my concentration straight. Jealousy.

Though I know I SHOULD NOT. I NEED NOT. Its unwarranted. Uncalled for. Unnecessary. Its beyond my borders. I've got no right to be.

Why am I feeling this again. Every time. I know Im overstepping the barriers of anonimity, if I would let this feelings harbor on the bayside of my emotions.

I, for him could mean not more than a stranger. A known stranger. We're strangers for quite a long time already. I know, I know I know. I am a coward, a sissy, a chicken. Call me all labels of weakness, but I can't just help it. I can't see myself entering that unknown territory. Therefore I stick to where my safety gauges are. I could not let myself dive and get drowned into something I've never been. Well, Im too afraid that I might not be able to save myself, or that no one might rescue me. And I know, Im talking in riddles again. Puzzling people of my abstract metaphors.

But really I must admit. Im jealous.